Fun With Emmett: The Bet
by Johnny Emm
Summary: Jasper and Emmett have made another bet. But this time, Bella is going to be a victim. Rated M for language, themes, and lemons.
1. And So The Fun Begins

Another example that my profile poll works. Someone voted for this, and here it is! The idea for this came from the fact that I wanted to do something fun with Emmett (duh). Eventually, I got this idea. Since I'm taking a break from Dusk and my Twilight Playlist, this is now one of my main projects. Enjoy.

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Emmett slammed Jasper's hand down for the seventh time that night. He let out a frustrated groan as Emmett laughed.

"Face it, J. You can't beat me. There's no way for you to get stronger."

"Dammit, Emmett. How do you win at everything?"

He shrugged. "Maybe my super-vampire-power is just pure awesomeness."

Jasper put his head in his hands. He was glad he decided against betting he could beat Emmett at arm wrestling. He thought back to every bet he made with Emmett: How many trees he could knock down in one minute; How much human food he could eat before he threw up; How big of a hole he could dig.

And the competitions. Countless races, arm wrestling, thumb wrestling, fights. Jasper never won. And the stakes were always high. It all started when Jasper and Alice first showed up at the Cullen's house.

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"My name is Emmett," he said grabbing Jasper's hand tightly. "Wow, you're weak."

Jasper got angry. He was always considered strong when fighting in Maria's army, and he felt that he was being challenged.

Jasper strengthened his grip on Emmett's hand. "Do you want to take back that statement?"

Emmett laughed, which only made him angrier. "No thanks. I'm in the mood for a good fight."

Jasper smiled. "I have years of training. You can't defeat me."

"Oh yeah? Let's make a bet. What do you want if you win."

Jasper looked around until he saw what would soon become 'the usual' bet.

Emmett won.

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Then Jasper had an idea. Something that Emmett would never be able to pull off.

"Hey, Emmett."

"Yes, loser?"

"How do you feel about a bet?"

He rolled his eyes. "I don't know, Jasper. How do you feel about blood?"

"Okay. Point taken."

"So, what did you have in mind?"

"First off: we bet 'the usual.'"

Emmett chuckled. "What else would we bet?"

"Well, you can kiss your winning streak goodbye. Edward's wedding is in a little over a month."

Emmett stared at Jasper with interest and fear. He had no idea where Jasper was going with this. He usually never does. "And?"

"I bet that you can't make fifty suggestive comments around Bella before her wedding."

Emmett's mouth dropped. "For real? Where did that come from?"

"What, Emmett? Are you scared?"

"Hell no! Now, are there any other rules?"

"Yes. You can't let Edward kill you. If you do, you lose."

"Seems reasonable. Let's do it."

Emmett stood up and walked back to the house. Jasper stayed where he was, content that he was finally going to get what he wanted since he got here.

Emmett walked through the doorway and sat on the couch next to Bella. She was playing their XBox 360.

"Whatcha doin', little sis?" Emmett asked.

"Trying to figure out these buttons. Halo is hard."

Too fuckin' easy, Emmett thought to himself. "If you think this is bad, you're in trouble. It gets _much_ harder." Emmett mentally counted one.

Bella didn't hear the double meaning to his words and kept playing. Emmett picked up a controller and logged in. His avatar was a monkey.

Emmett didn't worry about his bet with Jasper. He had a whole month to get them all in. He knew he could do it.

After a couple minutes, Edward got home from hunting. "Hey, baby," he called to Bella.

"Hi, sweetie pie," Emmett called back. Edward hit him in the back of the head.

Bella walked ahead of Emmett in the game as they came up on a group of aliens.

"You better not shoot me in the back, Emmett," Bella said.

Emmett never kept things in his mind without saying them because of Edward. After a while, he just decided that everyone should know what he was thinking, too. That's why he said what he said.

"Don't worry. I'll leave that to Edward." With that, he remembered all about his bet with Jasper. Which meant that Edward did too. Edward started laughing evilly.

"Oh, Emmett. It looks like you're finally going to lose. I'll give you five seconds."

Before he could finish speaking, Emmett was gone. As he ran past Jasper, he yelled "That's two!" and continued into the forest. Jasper, having heard the whole situation, started laughing. Edward was still laughing diabolically, and Bella was completely confused.

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Review please. And if you have any inuendos to help Emmett, tell me. I'll mention you if I use it.


	2. I Smell Victory

You like me! You really like me! Thank you all who have showed me so much love for this story. It has inspired me to continue it as soon as possible. Also, I had nothing better to do. Enjoy...

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Emmett continued to bang his head against the tree. He had put off working on the bet for almost a week, and now couldn't get any alone time with Bella. Edward never left her side because he didn't want Bella to have to endure Emmett's stupidity.

Jasper walked up behind him. "Have you given up already, Emmett?"

He turned around. "No way. I'm gonna find a way to win this." He was angry. Emmett has never lost a bet and didn't think he could handle the stakes.

"Just face it. I've finally beaten you."

"Never. I will not let you win."

Jasper could feel the anger and fear rolling off Emmett's body. He could feel how Emmett didn't want to lose, but Jasper didn't give a flying fuck. He has had enough losing, and, frankly, so has Alice.

Jasper looked over at Edward and Bella through the window. "Well, Emmett, I'll help you this one time. Edward's hungry. It won't be long til he leaves." He turned back to Emmett. "But you won't have much time. I'll make sure of it." Then Jasper walked off into the woods.

Emmett was slightly frightened because of Jasper. He had never seen him so dark and evil. It made him wonder what he was up to. The possibilities he thought off only scared him more.

"Damn, Emmett. What do you think Jasper's doing?" Edward said coming up behind him.

Emmett said nothing, trying to clear his head.

"I think you should lie down or something. You looked really spooked."

"Yeah. Sure." Edward ran into the forest, and Emmett remembered his plan.

He quickly walked around the house to the front door. As he stepped into the living room, he realized he didn't know what to say. He hoped that something would just come to him.

And come to him it did.

As he walked up the stairs, he smelt it. At first, he thought he was imaging it. So he took in a deep breath. He would know that smell anywhere. He chuckled to himself. "If I am right, I can score ten, maybe twenty right now."

He started to pick up his pace on the stairs. When he got to the top floor he heard it. A soft moan coming from Edward's room. Emmett bit down on his index finger to stop from laughing. He stopped outside the door and steadied his breath.

"Ya need any help in there?"

"EMMETT! What the fuck!?" Bella screamed.

Emmett stared rolling on the floor laughing. But he knew it wasn't over. He needed more points.

"Hey Bella," he said between giggles. "Could you _come_ out here." He started laughing again.

"Fuck off, Emmett!"

"No, I believe you are." Emmett was glad he didn't have to breath or he'd probably die from laughter.

"I'm calling Edward if you don't leave."

"I'm sure if I waited a little longer, you _would_ have been calling for Edward."

Emmett heard Bella dialing her cell phone.

"You better not let Edward smell your phone, now."

Yes. One last point, Emmett thought before running he got outside, he thought of one last one.

He turned to Edward's window and shouted up. "Hey, Bella! Could I use your underwear when you're done with them? Rose has been talking about getting some aphrodisiacs!"

"What was that?" A voice said from behind him.

"Oh, crap," Emmett said before running away, again. But this time, Edward was following him.

"Come on, Edward. It was just a joke."

"Then why did Bella call and specifically asked for me to kill you?"

"Um...uh..." Emmett tried to run faster, but Edward caught up and stopped him. He was sure he was going to die, but he was more worried about losing the bet.

"Alright Emmett. I'll make you a deal. I won't kill you...now. But if I ever catch you saying anything vulgar to Bella, I will rip you to shreds and scatter the parts around the world."

Emmett gulped.

"Do you understand?"

"I understand. Please don't kill me."

Edward let him go and ran off. Emmett stood there stunned. He had a lot on his mind. He could forget about the bet so Edward won't kill him. But he does not want Jasper to win this bet at all. He could try to be sneakier and not press his luck so much. But he didn't know when he could do that. But the most important thing he was thinking about was trying to come up with forty-two more innuendos.

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Another chapter down. Has anyone figured out what the winner of the bet gets? I think it's obvious, but then again, I wrote it. Show me some more love and vote for this on my profile poll if you want more.


	3. Drink This Please

Hey y'all!!! This is the part of my poular stories where I advertise my not popular stories. The Napier Coven is a comedy with a little bit of drama, tradey, and romance. Also, my new story: All of the Other Ones is about a war between mythical creatures, but not just Vampires and Werewolves...

Enough promoting. Enjoy!

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Emmett sat there, tapping his pencil on the desk. He had been there for hours thinking of more innuendos. So far, the only things he had written was a dirty joke, seven different terms for vagina, and a drawing of himself as a superhero. He was having a mental block.

Jasper walked up to him, holding a box. "How's it goin'?" Jasper asked knowingly.

Emmett glared at him. "What's in the box?"

"Well, Alice saw that you would need some help..."

"You're helping me?" Emmett asked questioningly.

Jasper shrugged. "Alice saw that even with this-" he held up the box "-you won't win."

"You can take your box and shove it up your..."

"As I was saying." Jasper dropped the box on the desk, making Emmett jump. "In here is five objects. You'll get ten points for each one you get Bella to use."

Emmett peeked in the box, and his jaw dropped. "How... Holy... What... No," he stuttered. He looked up at his brother, or at least who he thought was his brother. When did Jasper turn into a demon bent on Bella's destruction?

"Are you going to do it?" Jasper said after a while.

"What about Edward? What about Bella's health?"

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Bella will be perfectly fine. Trust me. As for Edward, that part of the bet still stands. However, you don't have to do it. I'm sure your picture of a superhero is a metaphor for something sexual." Jasper laughed before leaving.

Emmett searched through the box. He knew Bella would never even think about using half this shit. But when he saw one item, Emmett had hope. A plan started to form in his head. He only had two and a half weeks before the wedding, so he knew he had to act now.

At a different time in a different place...

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you tonight?" Edward asked.

"No," Bella answered. "I need some time alone to think about things."

"Okay," he groaned before kissing Bella goodnight. He left as she went into her house. Once Edward was far enough away, Emmett moved in. He knocked three times on the door and took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

Charlie opened the door. He was surprised. "Emmett? What are you doing here?"

"Hi Charlie. I wanted to talk to Bella. May I come in?"

"Uh...sure." He stepped aside as Emmett walked in and went straight to the kitchen. He knew it was a stretch on so many levels, but he had to try.

He opened the fridge and pulled out a can. "He Charlie. Have you ever tried Red Bull?"

"No, but I've heard it's nasty."

Emmett turned around to face him. "It's not nasty. You've gotta try one." Emmett held the can out. His only thought was 'Do it.'

Charlie grabbed the can and opened it. He took one sip and spit it out. "Oh God." He gave the can back to Emmett and wiped his mouth. "That is awful."

"Oh well. See ya later." Emmett smiled knowing that his plan was working perfectly. He quickly walked up the stairs and stood outside Bella's room. Not knowing what to do with the excess Red Bull, he drank half of it. He had the same reaction as Charlie. But Emmett made sure not to spit any out. He could feel the drink rolling around in his stomach, making him sick. But he knew that he had to finish his plan.

He pulled out the flask from his pocket and filled the can back up. He swished it around a little before knocking on Bella's door.

"What do you want, Charlie?"

"It me. Can I come in." Emmett tried to use his sorry voice, witch was hard being that he has never been sorry.

"Fine," Bella huffed. The last thing she wanted was more of Emmett's bet shenanigans. Yes, she knew all about the bet. She isn't that mad at Emmett. More at Jasper for even thinking of it.

Emmett put on his sorry face and opened the door. Bella was sitting on her bed. He sat next to her.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I should have never agreed to that stupid bet."

Bella looked over at him in shock. "Are you saying you're going to stop acting like an asshole?"

Emmett sighed. He never knew how hard it was to apologize. "Yes. Here." Emmett held out the Red Bull. "Peace offering?"

Bella took it with a smile. "Thanks Emmett. I would hate to have a grudge against you when I become stronger than you."

"Yeah. Me too," he said nervously.

Bella took a big gulp of the Red Bull. Emmett cringed. He was sure that he was going to be caught. But he wasn't.

Bella licked her lips. "It tastes a little watered down. Why was it open?" Bella started to get scared. She thought she was being paranoid, but she was really figuring out Emmett's plan.

"A let Charlie have a taste. You should have seen his face."

Bella calmed down. Emmett tensed up. All that was left was to wait.

It didn't take long.

Within four minutes, Bella had finished the entire can. She has leaning against Emmett shoulders, hiccuping.

"Hey-_hic_-Emmett," Bella asked after being quiet for a while.

"Yes?" he asked nervously. He had never been around drunk people, but he knew that it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Do you-_hic_-have a-_hic_-big penis?"

"What!" Emmetts' eyes almost popped out of his head.

"It's just that-_hic_-you have so many-_hic_-muscles." Bella started rubbing Emmett's arm. "I was wonder-_hic_-ing if they were all-_hic_-over."

"What have I done," Emmett mumbled to himself. "Bella, I think it's time for you to go to bed." Emmett laid her down.

She giggled. "Okay. Are you going to stay with me?"

He shook his head and pulled the blanket over her. "I want you to stay here and go to sleep. Understand?"

She giggled again and nodded.

"Okay. Goodnight Bella."

Emmett got up and walked to the door.

"Goodnight-_hic_-big penis."

Emmett left before Charlie could see him.

Thirty-two more, Emmett thought. I am completely and totally fucked.

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Don't worry everyone. There's more 'drunk Bella' to come. Woops, 31! *wink wink* OK, I need more ideas for the box. What do you want to see Bella use? And don't forget, whoever names the stakes of the bet gets a prize. So review me your ideas.

Edit: I am an idoit. Did no one catch that it said 38? Well, it's fixed now.


	4. Edward's Pick

My God, this is popular. I know that there are many people with this story on their alerts, but they aren't reviewing. Well, you're gonna have to know. You'll see...

By the way, The first paragraph is from the POV of Announcer Dude. If you've read my other stories, you'll know that Announcer Dude made his debut in Twilight Playlist, but didn't get a name until he was in Richard & Kelly. He also made a slight appearance in All of the Other Ones. Just a little history for ya.

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In all my years, I have learned a few things. One: Never assume she isn't going to get pregnant. Two: To women and parents, 'Maybe' means 'No.' To children and men, it means 'Yes.' And three: Never leave a drunk person alone. Emmett has broken all of these rules, but the first two are stories for another day.

Bella stood in front of her mirror...naked. She had been looking at herself ever since Emmett left. She lifted her breasts once again.

"I'm hot," she mumbled to herself, although her voice was muffled by the liquor. "Why won't Edward fuck me?" She was on the verge of tears. Bella believed that she had been rejected by not only Edward, but Emmett as well.

It was at that moment that Alice entered through Bella's window. She had seen Bella get upset and wake Charlie. Let's just say, Charlie finding his daughter drunk, naked, and crying wouldn't go over well.

"Al-_hic_-ice!" Bella ran to hug her. Alice stumbled backwards. Dammit Jasper, she thought. Why do I have to be the one to clean up after your mess?

She grabbed Bella by the shoulders and held her back. "Bella, I need you to calm down. Okay?"

"Alice. Alice. Alice. You-_hic_-think I'm hot. Right?"

Alice sighed. If Edward doesn't kill Emmett, I will. "Yes, I think you're hot, Bella. Can you go to sleep, please?"

"Alice. I want ano-_hic_-ther Red Bull."

So that's how Emmett did it. "No, Bella." Alice thought she sounded like she was talking to a three-year-old. "It's time for bed, now."

"But, Aliiiiiice. I don't-_hic_-wanna." She stomped her foot.

"Listen Bella. If you go to sleep now, I'll get you another Red Bull tomorrow. Okay?"

Bella smiled and nodded. She jumped face first on her bed. Alice pulled the blanket up to her shoulders.

"Alice?"

"Yes?"

"Does Emmett have a big penis?"

Alice sighed. This is not what she wanted to think about. "Yes, Bella. He does."

"I knew it."

Alice headed back towards the window.

"Alice, wait!" She turned back around. "Would you fuck me?"

Alice dropped her head. She knew this was coming. "Yes, I would. But not tonight."

"But Aliiiiiice. I want to noooowwww."

Alice looked to the future for an answer. It wasn't long before she had one.

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Emmett slammed the door open. "Jasper!" he screamed, knowing very well that even if he whispered, Jasper would hear. "When I win this fuckin' bet, I'm gonna put my _all_ into my winnings."

Jasper was instantly in front of him. He had a grin that could only be described as shit-eating. Hey Emmett. Has it ever occurred to you that I have ulterior motives to this bet? Because I don't." His grin got bigger.

"What?" Emmett didn't like riddles. He didn't like anything that required an advanced level of thinking.

Jasper just laughed and walked away. Emmett watched him go, still pondering over what he said.

"Emmett. Would you like to explain this."

Emmett gulped. He didn't even want to know what Edward was talking about. "I don't think I do." He slowly turned around. In Edwards' arms was a box. Not just any box, _the_ box. Emmett's heart sank.

However, to his surprise, Edward smiled. He reached in the box and pulled out one of the objects. "I suggest you use this next. And if you go anywhere near Bella with any of this other shit, you will lose your bet." Edward gave the object to Emmett and walked away.

Emmett's jaw was on the floor. He stood there like that for three minutes before he understood what just happened. He took another look at the object and got another idea. She was already drunk, she would probably say 'yes' to anything.

He ran as fast as he could to Bella's house. When he got there, he jumped up to her window, which was already open. He was startled by what he saw.

"Whoa. Looks like a full moon tonight."

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A lot of things for you to do. Review and tell me: Should I have a Bella and Alice lemon? What should be in the box? More innuendos. Also, I made a typo in the last chapter. I fixed it now. I wrote the wrong point count. The count now is 31 more. (The last sentence was added in because I couldn't have a chapter without one.) And lastly, I brought back the penis conversation to annoy my only loyal fan: Allapologies451994.


	5. Someone's Gonna Die

First, a thanks to all the people who have reviewed, favorited and alerted. Secondly, an apology. School has started so I won't be writing as much. So savor this chapter. Lastly, a congradulations to sirenastarot for figuring out what "Edward's Pick" was, but being wrong on how it was going to be used.

Also, there will be no lemon. If you want some porn in your comedy, read The Napier Coven.

I don't know if I need this but, I do not own Twilight. I also don't own an XBOX 360, a mirrior or a dildo. I do own a pencil. OK. That's it...

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"Whoa. Looks like a full moon tonight."

"Emmett, you asshole!"Alice yelled quietly so she wouldn't wake Charlie. "I am going to fuckin' kill you!"

Alice was sitting in the rocking chair, trying to push Bella off of her. Bella was standing in front of Alice, trying to kiss her.

"Aw, man," Emmett sighed. "How come the girls only take their clothes off after I leave?"

"Shut up and help me."

"No way. I gotta get some more points."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Speaking of your bet, what the fuck did you do to her?"

Emmett shrugged. "Just vodka mixed with Red Bull. What's the big deal?"

"Emmett, you idiot! That combination made her drunk and horny!"

"Really? I gotta remember that for later."

"If you don't help me soon, I won't let you have a later."

"Alright! But first, I can't wait to tell Jasper that his wife is now playing for both sides."

"I'm serious Emmett."

"Okay, okay. One more. You've already gotten past third base, but Edward still hasn't made it to first!"

"Enough! Just throw it on the bed."

Emmett was confused (shocker, I know) before he remembered what he was holding. He lifted it in front of him. "Hey, Bella." She turned around and stared at the rabbit. Emmett started waving it back and forth. Bellas' eyes followed it with want, just like a dog would with a bone.

And just like a dog, Emmett threw it on the bed. Bella ran to it. Alice and Emmett jumped out the window, leaving Bella alone with her new sex toy.

As they walked back to the house, Emmett was worrying over how to hide his thoughts. Alice wasn't worried at all.

"So, Emmett. How many more points do you need now?"

"Um...nineteen. I think I'm gonna have to take a break so Edward doesn't kill me."

"You don't need to worry about that. Jasper is probably telling everything that just happened to Edward right now."

Emmett stopped. "What!" He screamed.

Alice turned to him. "You didn't think you had a chance of winning, did you? We made damn sure that wouldn't happen. In fact, Edward is coming to find you at this very moment. Good luck." Then she ran away.

Emmett gulped. He knew that there was no way of denying anything that Jasper said. He was going to die. But just like before, he was more worried about losing the bet.

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Edward hid Emmett's box in his closet. He had already bought Bella a rabbit a few months ago because Alice said it was a good idea. He was surprised to see Jasper waiting outside of his room. He had an evil smile on his face.

"Hello Edward. I have a favor to ask of you."

Edward immediately saw what Jasper wanted in his head. "No."

"Come on. You know you're gonna end up doing it anyway. Especially after what I'm going to tell you."

"I'm not going to kill Emmett. No matter how angry I get, It'll never happen."

"Are you sure Edward? Would you care to make a wager on it?"

Edward realized what Jasper really meant. "You sick bastard."

"What? Me and Emmett bet this all the time. I think it's time for you to get in on it."

Edward was getting angry, just like Jasper wanted.

"I will never join your fucked up bets."

"But think of the possibilities. You could win both, at the same time." Jasper chuckled. "And if you lose..."

Edward grabbed him by the neck and pinned him against the wall. His smile didn't falter.

"I see you're angry, Edward. I think now would be a good time to tell you that Emmett got Bella drunk."

Edward's anger doubled. He was much angrier now than the first time he confronted Emmett. And he almost did kill him the last time.

"Also, I believe that he will be using the rabbit on Bella himself."

Edward ran out of there faster than he had ever ran headed straight to Bella's house, but he didn't even get halfway before he ran into his prey.

With his super speed run and his super strength, he punched Emmett right in the chest. He flew back nearly a hundred feet. Emmett just stared st the sky, knowing that it was all over.

Edward picked him back up by his collar. "Listen here, asshole. You are going to lose this bet, but I'm not going to be the one to do it. I told you to stay away from Bella, but instead of killing you, I'll do something much worse. I'm taking Bella far away from you. Because I know that this bet means a hell of a lot more to you than your life. So I won't kill you. You can do that yourself."

He dropped Emmett and continued his way to Bella's house. Emmett just stood there, forming another plan in his head. Knowing that Edward won't kill him means that he can get away with much more. And he plans to.

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Have you figured out the bet yet? Someone has to have it by now. Review me your ideas.


	6. You Can't Escape It!

I can't believe how _long_ this is. It had to be done. This is my longest chapter so far. The end is coming.

For all of you who can't wait for the ending, someone in the reviews figured out what the winner of the bet gets. I don't want you to see it, but if you care that much, be my guest.

Oh well. Enjoy...

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"Goodbye!" Emmett said with a smile. All of the Cullens were saying their farewells to Edward and Bella. Just like Edward said, they were leaving to get away from Emmett until the wedding. Only Emmett, Jasper, and Alice knew what Emmett did.

Once Edward's Volvo was out of hearing range, Emmett let out a sigh of relief. "How can you control your thoughts so well?" he asked Alice.

She shrugged. "I guess you never had to block your thoughts, so it's hard for you to change your habits."

Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie looked at them dumbfounded. "What are you talking about?" Rosalie asked.

"Emmett made a bet with Jasper that he's gonna lose," Alice answered.

"That's what you think," Emmett responded. "Once Bella takes that, I'll only need nine more points to win."

"Yeah...but she's going to be gone until the wedding."

"Don't try to fool me. As soon as it happens, Edward's gonna bring Bella home to see what's wrong with her. I know my brother."

"I never said that wasn't a possibility." Alice smiled before leaving with Jasper. Emmett was confused again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"We're here," Edward said, waking Bella up.

"Wuh? Huh?" She said disoriented. Edward chuckled.

Edward didn't really plan to take a vacation, but once he got to Bella's house, his mind was set.

He walked in on her pleasuring herself with the rabbit. When she saw him, she fell off the bed trying to get to him. He caught her, and she giggled. Edward assumed that everything Jasper said was a lie, but he could smell the alcohol from a mile away. As you could guess, he was pissed.

Edward unloaded the suitcases into one of the many houses that the Cullens own all across the country. This one happened to be in Oregon.

Bella went to the bathroom. She had been having some sleeping problems the whole summer. She tried everything, but she could not get on a normal sleep cycle. Emmett knew of these problems because Bella would stay up and play video games with him. He decided to help.

Emmett gave her a pill that was supposed to make her sleepy. Seeing that it was already midnight, and she was wide awake, she decided to take the pill now.

Most of you should be smart enough to realize that the pill has absolutely nothing to do with insomnia. It does, however, have some very different effects.

As soon as Bella swallowed, she felt even more awake than before. She wanted to run and jump and play. For now, we'll call this the "Alice Pill."

Edward was wondering why Bella was taking so long. Bella didn't know how long she stood there. Edward opened the door. "Bella?"

She turned to him and smiled. "Edward!" She screamed as she jumped into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist and started kissing his neck. He growled.

Edward backed up against the wall. Half of him knew that Emmett was the cause of this and wanted to get back at him. But the other half wanted to have the honeymoon early. "Dammit Bella."

Bella started grinding herself against Edward's now growing erection. Confidence: one of the many effects of the "Alice Pill." Bella moaned into his neck.

Meanwhile in a less horny place...

Emmett and Jasper were playing Guitar Hero. Emmett was winning.

"Alright Jasper," Rosalie said, walking into the room. "I saw for myself. Now let's get this over with."

"Not just yet. You're just gonna have to be patient. And remember, no telling."

"Go to hell," She said before leaving.

"I'll meet you there!" He shouted back.

If you've been paying attention to anything, you'll know that after something like that, Emmett would be confused. And he was.

"What was that all about?"

"Remember those ulterior motives I told you about that I don't have? Well, that may or may not include a second bet that you may or may not have won for me."

"Jasper, I swear that one day I will hire a translator. Or I could kick your ass. Whichever you prefer."

Jasper laughed. "Sometimes I wish I could see what's going on in your head, Emmett."

"Ask Edward. I don't think it would be very interesting."

"Well, I gotta go talk to Rosalie about something or nothing at all."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but don't think you're gonna win this. I only need nine more points and I have two weeks to do it."

Edward kicked in the door holding Bella in his arms. He wasn't angry, just frustrated. "Alice!" He screamed.

She was there in seconds. "Why Edward. Whatever do you need me for," She said before turning to Emmett with a grin on her face.

"I want you to move the wedding to a week earlier."

"What!" Emmett screamed.

"Already done. Psychic, remember?" She took Bella from Edwards' arms.

"Hi Alice!" Bella said. "Can I race you?"

"No. You have to sleep now." Alice started going up the stairs.

"I can't sleep. Edward got me too excited."

Emmett snickered. "Don't get used to it, Bella. He's not very exciting _at all_."

Edward walked over to Emmett. He wasn't worried because Edward promised not to kill him. "Emmett, you wouldn't happen to have another one of those pills, would you?"

Emmett's smile widened. "Need a little help for your wedding night?"

"You have no idea."

"Despite what you might think, Jasper is the one who got the 'E,' not me. Go ask him."

"Thanks. And by the way, that last one didn't count."

"Why not?"

"Because that was not suggestive _at all_." Edward laughed while he walked away.

Emmett just sat there. Nine more points in seven days. How hard can it be? His first point answered his question. _If you think this is bad, you're in trouble. It gets _much_ harder._

* * *

Has anyone figured out Jasper's ulterior motives which he doesn't have? How about what else is in the box? And sorry for the smut cliffhanger, but I assure you, nothing happened. But I was getting a mental block, so I went somewhere else. Don't hate. Lemons will be coming soon....maybe.


	7. Let's Team Up

Sorry about the long wait. My computer broke. And I'm sick, so I wouldn't mind a few sympathy reviews. A quick recap: Emmett only needs nine more points to win the bet. If he can get Bella to use one of the two last objects, he'll get ten points and win. So...yeah. Here ya go.

* * *

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

Okay. This is how every conversation between me and Edward has been for the past few days. Edward (being the overprotective vampire he is) decided to team up with me to win the bet. I know. I was shocked too. Apparently, he thought that if he helped me, Bella wouldn't unknowingly ingest anymore harmful substances. Me, Edward, and Bella sat down and one day and talked over the agreement.

"Well," I started. "I only need seven more point." Between the days where the wedding got moved up and today, I got two more points. One for when Bella fell face first on the living room rug and I made a comment about eating carpet. Another when Bella bent over as I walked into the room. I soon realized I would have to use one of the last two objects in Jasper's box.

"I was thinking about using one of the last things in the box."

Without missing a beat, they both said "no." They knew what was left.

I rolled my eyes. "Listen, I know it could be slightly dangerous, but just one snort and-"

"NO!" Edward screamed. "Bella is still experiencing the aftermath of 'E'. What makes you think I'm gonna let her use crystal meth? Especially only days away from the wedding?"

"Fine then. No meth. I do think it would be better to use the-"

"NO!" Bella screamed this time. "I've spent months waiting. I'm not gonna have it put off for a week after. And definitely not for you."

I sighed. Bella was almost as livid about the chastity belt as Edward was about the meth. "Come on little sis." I can't believe I was begging.

"Well Emmett, could you last not having sex for a week?"

I didn't need to think about it. "Point taken. So back to the meth-"

"NO Emmett!"

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

As you can see, we had some disagreements. You may be wondering, however, why Bella would have to wear the chastity belt for a week. Jasper left a note. 'When Bella uses this (and I know that she will…) she has to wear it for exactly seven days starting the day of the wedding.' What an asshole.

But all that was a couple days ago. Now, with only three days until the wedding, I got an idea. I was on my cell phone in a blink of an eye. She picked up on the first ring and sighed.

"What do you want now?"

"I have deal for you, Bella."

"I'll probably deny. But go ahead."

"You wear the chastity belt-"

"No."

"Let me finish! You wear the chastity belt, and I'll never make another suggestive comment around for as long as I live."

There was a slight pause. "Deal." And then she hung up.

Three days later…

After the wedding…

While Emmett and Edward were in the living room…

And Bella was putting on the chastity belt…

"OHHHH! IT'S COLD!"

I started laughing. Edward just glared at me.

"What? Tell me that's not funny."

"It's not funny."

Bella walked down the stairs. It was clear she was uncomfortable.

"Hey Bella. You better get used to the cold."

THWACK! Edward's hand hit the back off my head. I kept laughing.

Bella blushed. "I thought you were going to stop that."

"Only when the week is over. I still doubt your self control."

"You have the key, jackass. How that happened, I don't wanna know. But even if I did want it off, I couldn't do anything about it."

"That is true. Alright, no more." I starting going upstairs when I realized I didn't promise Edward. _Hey Edward_ I thought. _When you open that treasure chest in a week, I hope you won't spend it all in one night. _There was a growl and I laughed.

Until I saw him. Smiling like the Joker. "You think you've won, don't you?"

"I _know_ I've won."

He laughed. "You are so naive. I bet Alice it wouldn't take longer than three days. She guesses two."

"It doesn't matter. I got the key."

"Yeah. A little creepy if you ask me. But do you know how easy it would be to take it from you? Me and Edward ganging up on you. Not even you would stand a chance."

My heart sank. I didn't think about that. But as I heard the car speed away, I knew I was too late.

* * *

It's almost over. Maybe one or two chapters are left. But don't be discouraged. Fun With Jasper will be coming to a computer screen near you!


	8. The Loser Is Crowned

This is the second to last chapter! I only got three reviews last chapter, and that's why it took so long to get this posted. If I don't get enough reviews, the last chapter will take longer.

* * *

I sat on the couch in the living room playing Halo. It had been three days since Edward and Bella left for their "honeymoon" and I didn't feel worried. I knew Bella was a nympho, but Edward wouldn't give in. His hard-ass ways is what I'm hoping will last the next four days. I mean, I have the key, and there's no way I'm giving that up.

Alice and Jasper walked into the room. They stood in the doorway with that "I know something you don't" look.

"What's up, losers?"

They both laughed. It was kind of creepy really.

"Oh, Emmett," Alice said. "You still think you have a chance?"

"Ha! How can I not win? They'll be gone for a week, and when they come back, I'll collect my reward."

"Don't be so cocky, Emmett. As of right now, Edward and Bella are on they're way back home."

I scoffed. "You're just trying to scare me."

"Then why are you feeling nervous?" Jasper asked.

Fuck. I forgot about Mr. Emotional.

I'll admit, I was kinda nervous. I mean, Edward will do almost anything to give Bella what she wants. Hell, he almost killed me for her! But it could never get bad enough for Edward to drive all the way back here. I could last a week without sex, why can't Bella?

I turned back to them, but they were gone. It's a good thing that I don't sleep, because I'd be afraid that the would try to kill me.

As I un-paused my game, I heard the engine.

"Oh, fuck."

I ran upstairs into my room and found the key. All the while, I kept repeating "oh, fuck." I ran back downstairs and out the back door. I didn't care where I was going. I'll hide in a cave for the rest of the week, but Edward will not get this key.

Unfortunately, Edward is faster than me.

"Emmett!" A scream that kept getting closer. Surprisingly, it was Bella's voice. I shivered. She's much scarier than Edward.

I decided to turn my head around to see where they were. Bad idea. I have no idea where that tree came from, but all that's left of it now is a pile of splinters. I rolled across the ground at least another half mile.

I was suddenly being lifted in the air. It was Edward...naked?

"Give me the fucking key," he growled.

"Uh... Why are you naked?"

He slammed me into a tree. "She burned all my clothes, Emmett. She...burned...them." He emphasized each word.

"Why?"

"Cause she's going insane, you asshole! Now if you don't give the key, I'll rip your fucking head off!"

"Edward. Calm down. Let's talk about-"

He screamed and threw me on the ground. "Where is it!?"

It's over. I lost.

I reached into my pocket and smiled. "It's gone."

"What?"

"I must have dropped it when I hit that tree."

"Wait. The tree hat you hit?"

I stood back up. Yeah. Why?"

"Then that means-"

"YES!!! FINALLY!!!"

Edward turned towards the yell. "Dammit! She found the key." And then he took off.

I just stood there. Now what? If Bella is really as crazy as Edward said, then they're probably having sex in the woods right now. And by now, Alice has seen all of this and knows I lost, so I don't wanna go back to the house. Where does that leave me? Bella's getting what she wants, Jasper's getting what he wants, and I'm left as the loser. Oh, shit. I never told Rose about the bet. That's gonna be an awkward conversation.

"I see I was right."

I turned towards Jasper. "What are you doing out here?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Came to gloat?"

"Of course not. I can feel that you're depressed. I just wanna help."

"You're not going to do it?"

"No, I am."

"Some help."

"Listen, Emmett. For decades, I've sat back and lost every single bet. I stomached through all the shit I was feeling ever fucking time. You may feel like crap now, but you'll get over it. Maybe now you won't take it so lightly anymore."

I sighed. He was right. If I had stopped to think about how Jasper must have felt all those times, I don't think I would've done it. Damn, this sucks.

"Fine. Just go."

"I don't believe I can, Emmett."

"What do you mean?"

"Does Rosalie know?"

"Oh. That."

"Yeah." He patted me on the back. "Let's get going."

We started our slow walk back to the house.

"But first," he pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. "I've gotta make a call."

He put it to his ear. "Hey, Rosalie. Remember that bet we made." Pause. "Well, it's time to pay up." Pause. "We'll be right there." He hung up.

"What bet did you make with my wife?"

"Really Emmett? Only an idiot wouldn't have been able to figure it out yet." He shook his head. "I'll start at the beginning..."

* * *

Cliffhanger! I need some help. I was thinking of having TWO more chapters. One with a Edward and Bella lemon in the woods. Are all my readers comfortable with lemons? It's a democracy here. Yes or no. The most votes wins.


	9. Wait, What?

You are all gonna hate me. Well, seeing as that I got a 100% "YES" to a lemon, there will be a lemon. This chapter will connect all the dots, fill in all the holes, fill up every crack, whatever innuendo you wanna use to say that this will tell you what was going on.

* * *

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Come on Jasper. You can't just tell me that and expect me to let you have all that fun without me."

"First off: that sounded so creepy. Second: I was the one who figured this out; I'm going to enjoy it."

We had reached the house after I told Emmett everything. Surprisingly, he wasn't mad. In fact, he was actually impressed. And jealous.

I could feel the emotions in the house. Rosalie was still a little nervous about what she _thought_ was going to happen. When the shit hits the fan, I'll have to help calm her down. As for Alice, she was horny. Perfect.

"Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. I just wanna watch."

"For the last time, no. Now you better be ready for your explanation." I still couldn't believe Emmett never told Rosalie about the bets. For nearly fifty years he never lost. I guess he never had any reason to tell her. It's only gonna be worse now, though.

We stood outside of my room. Emmett sighed. "This is gonna suck."

I put my hand on his back. "I'll help you out."

"Thanks. I never thought you're emotionalism would come in handy."

"Well, I never thought I would win one of these bets, but there's a first for everything."

I opened the door. Alice was laying on the bed. Rosalie was standing with her arms crossed.

"Emmett?" Rosalie said. "What are you doing here?"

"H-hi Rose," Emmett said nervously. I could tell he was gonna need a lot of help. "Um... There's something I need to tell you."

"What?"

I sent a wave of calm through he room. I don't think I've ever felt this much tension in one room.

"Well," Emmett started. "I...sorta...bet you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

It looks like Rosalie's stupidity is gonna give Emmett some more time before I have to step in.

"Well... About fifty years ago, Jasper and Alice showed up."

"Yeah, and?"

"Jasper thought he could beat me in a fight, so we made a bet. I asked what he wanted if he won, and he said you."

Rosalie glared at me. She was starting to put two and two together. I sent out two more waves of calm.

Emmett continued. "I agreed, but if I won, I wanted Alice."

Rosalie glared back at Emmett. At least it's not me anymore.

"So, I never told you because I never lost-"

"You've fucked her!" Rosalie screamed and pointed at Alice.

You'd think she'd be more upset about how her husband bet her. Maybe she took that as a compliment. Either way, I tried to calm her down, but it wasn't working very well.

"Well-"

"No. Shut up. Just...shut up." She put her hands on her head and sighed. She slowly calmed down. "How many times?"

"What?"

"You said you never lost, so how many times did you win?"

Emmett gulped. "Uh...I can't remember."

"YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!! Why'd you do it Emmett? Was I not good enough?"

"NO! That's not it-"

"SHUT UP!" Rosalie sighed again. It was quiet for about four minutes, until, out of nowhere, all of her anger and frustration disappeared. It was replaced by...giddiness?

She looked into Emmetts' eyes with a smile that I've been wearing for the past couple weeks. Did I really look that creepy?

"Tell me this Emmett," Rosalie started. "How would you feel if I cheated on you?"

Oh, please leave me out of this.

"It wasn't like that-"

"What if I did that thing you like to Jasper?"

Crap.

Emmetts' eyes grew wider than I thought possible. "Wait. I wouldn't-"

"What if I did it to Alice, huh?"

"Wait. Uh..."

"What if I did it to both of them at the same time!"

I was extremely hard. And I could feel that Alice was the same way. I needed to find out what that was.

"Hold on!" Emmett screamed. "What?"

"Goodbye Emmett." Rosalie walked up to him and pushed him out the door.

"Hold on a second."

She slammed the door in his face. She turned to me with a seductive smile. "I'm guessing you had all of this planned?"

I miled back. "Why would you think that?"

She started walking towards me. "Seeing as that you bet me if you could get Bella drunk and playing with a vibrator that me and Alice would have sex sounded very specific, even at first. But now knowing you had a seperate bet with Emmett to have sex with me; this all seems like a giant plot for you to have a threesome."

Damn, she's smarter than I thought. "Merely coincidence."

"Ha! I'm sure you also didn't know that I'd end up going along with it."

"I knew that, actually," Alice said from the bed. She was already naked, holding her head up on her arm while her other hand was between her legs. "Are you just gonna keep talking? I wanna have some fun."

* * *

You have just witnessed the most horrific of all the cliffhangers! What's worse is that I will NOT be writing the last, um, "chapter" until I write the story's theme song. And if I went to fast for anybody, ask me some questions. Just another excuse for you to review.


	10. Story Updates

Attention readers! A lot has been going on in my life and in short, I don't have any motivation to write anymore. I would love nothing more than to finish my stories, but with college going on, I don't have much time.

Here are my future plans for my stories:

After Lizzie: May or may not be finished

Being Single Sucks: May or may not be finished

Cullen Holidays: Hiatus

Dusk: Hiatus

Fan Fiction Playlist: Done

Fiction Fixer: Will be rewritten

Fun With Emmett: Hiatus

Green Knights of Day: Hiatus

Hunger Games Playlist: Done (Might write more songs after seeing the movie)

Inuyasha Playlist: Done

Johnny Emm's Music Videos: Hiatus

Love is Messed Up: Might be moving to FictionPress. Look me up on there too

Love Prisoner: Will be finished

O N Labbit Playlist: Done

The Collector: Will be rewritten as a short story

The Floor: Hiatus

The Napier Coven: Will be rewritten and possibly renamed

The Red Line Playlist: Done

The Sixty-Ninth Hunger Games: Will be finished

Twilight 101: Done

Under the Dome Playlist: Done

War On the Homefront: May or may not be finished

Welcome To My Life: Will be moved over to FictionPress

If I missed anything or if there's anything else you want to tell me, PM me. Remember, I need the support of my fans for this :)


	11. Sequel Time!

Hello readers! Yes, I am still alive. And although a lot of you may have stopped caring about this story, I am going to be continuing. Although, not this story. They have sex, not much I can do with that. However, I am going to be working on the sequel for anyone who wants to read more. I'll leave the link below. Sorry I;ve been away so long. Hopefully I can come back full time from now on.

Just put this after the fanfiction url.

s/7086603/1/Fun-With-Emmett-Bigger-Badder-Better-Bet


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